Why Knowing Your Core Values Can Change Everything - And How to Find Yours
Ever find yourself asking, "Is this really what I want?" even when everything seems to be going just fine on the outside? Maybe your calendar is full, you're doing all the things you thought you should be doing... and yet, something still feels off.
More often than not, that uneasy feeling is a signal that something deeper—your core values—might be out of sync with how you're living or what you're letting into your life.
What Are Core Values, Really?
Core values aren’t just buzzwords or inspirational posters in a break room. They’re the personal, guiding principles that shape what matters most to you. They're like your internal GPS—quietly steering your choices, your motivation, and your sense of fulfillment.
They’re not goals (those are destinations), and they’re not roles (like "manager" or "parent"). Values are more like the compass behind your actions. Think freedom, creativity, stability, connection, purpose, growth... that kind of thing.
When you know your values, life gets a little clearer. And when you don’t, it’s easy to chase things that check someone else’s boxes but leave you feeling stuck or disconnected.
How to Identify Your Own Core Values
Uncovering your values doesn’t have to be complicated. Here are a few simple ways to get started:
Look at your peak moments. Think about times in your life when you felt proud, fulfilled, or totally alive. What was happening? What made that experience so powerful? Chances are, one of your values was being honored.
Consider your pain points. On the flip side, think about moments of frustration or burnout. What felt missing or wrong? Pain often shines a light on what's most important to us.
Use a shortlist. There are tons of values lists out there, but the key is to find 3–5 that really feel like you. The kind you’d fight to protect. The kind that feel like a throughline in your story.
This isn’t about choosing what should matter. It’s about what already does.
Signs You’re Out of Alignment
It's not always easy to know, but that feeling in your gut you sometimes ignore is something to pay attention to. Misalignment doesn’t always scream—it often whispers:
You feel tired even when you’re rested
You start questioning why you’re doing what you’re doing
Your motivation tanks, even on projects you used to enjoy
You keep thinking, "I should be grateful, but..."
When your daily life consistently pulls you away from your values, everything just feels heavier. And if you're at a career or life pivot, those whispers might be nudging you toward something more authentic.
How to Use Your Core Values to Make Aligned Decisions
Once you’ve named your values, you can use them like a filter. Before you say yes to something—a new job, a project, even a relationship—ask yourself:
Does this honor what I care about most?
Will this move me closer to the kind of life I want to build?
Here’s an example: If integrity is one of your top values, agreeing to plans or commitments that feel out of step with your beliefs—just to keep the peace or avoid conflict—can leave you feeling uneasy or resentful. On the other hand, being honest about where you stand, even if it means disappointing someone, can feel more aligned and empowering, because it honors what matters most to you.
This kind of clarity can save you from months (or years) of feeling torn between what you think you should do and what truly feels right to you. When you know your values, it’s easier to make decisions that bring peace of mind—not just in the big moments, but in the everyday ones too.
Living Your Values Daily
Alignment isn’t just about big life decisions. You can bring your values into the everyday, too. Here are a few ways:
Morning check-ins: Ask yourself, "How can I live my value of ___ today?"
Value-based goals: Instead of setting goals based purely on achievement, build them around what feels meaningful.
Share your values: Talk about them with a friend, coach, or partner. Speaking them out loud reinforces them—and opens up new perspectives.
Your Next Step
If you’re feeling off-course or stuck in a life that doesn’t quite fit anymore, you’re not alone. It might not be about working harder or being more grateful. It might be about getting back to what really matters to you.
So here’s your invitation: Get curious. Reconnect. Start naming what matters most.
And if you want some help sorting it all out? I offer free sample sessions where we dig into stuff like this. No pressure. Just a real conversation about your values and what your next chapter could look like.
Reach out anytime. Your clarity might be closer than you think.
